As
per diem, Jedhunath was at Pashupati Aryaghat. He sat down at the bank of the Bagmati
River and put both legs into the floating cold water and left his leg under the
water. Near the same place where he sat, there was Ardhajal; where people kept
and breathe last breath in a moment and live in peace in haven. Without any
reason Jedhunath considering after that Ardhajal for few moments, then once
again he looked down into floating water. Slowly, the cold water became warm
due to the sun light. And Jedhunath feel warm as it gives him real meaning of
his life.
That
is Jedunaths’ final destination; he did not go outside form the Pashupatinaths’
boundary. Here and there, everywhere there were temples, and inside the temples
statue of Goddess, stones, and stone’s leaders and between them Jedhunath was
there, as he was also the part of Pashupatinatha.
But
Jedhunath was alive, He have soul inside him. That’s way, he was with in all
people there in Temple such as; Pashupatinaths’ pujari (Priest), temple’s
Devpaal, Ghatebaidhya, persons who buried dead body, and florist. He was also
one person among the visitors.
Years
ago, Jedhunath also had his father and mother, who gave birth to him. But now
he has no relation with them. He didn’t know his father so he don’t have too
much memories of his father but he remembered his mother a lot and felt his
mother’s love. No mother! No mother! No mother! By saying it he spent many
years and in that long interval Jedhunath struggle too much to survive his
life. He acted like; he didn’t have any relation with that moment too. The hot
and cold water of Aryaghat gave the actual essence of life right away.
Many
Langurs are jumping here and there at the ladder of Aryaghat and they are looking
after people with embarrass eye. Among them there was one old incapable and
helpless Langur who was seating at the corner of ladder sometimes, sometimes at
Dewal which is near with and sometimes looking after the visitors with his unendurable
eye. He was trying to understand that, actually what thing was going on at
aryaghat. He was also trying to understand the sound of crying of relatives of
dead persons at aryaghat which was mixed with song of Lord Mahadev from
Pashupati Temple. After sometime the person was kept on Ardhajal for his last
breath with same crying. That’s all things are looking with his unbearable eye
to understand actually what going on. Jedhunath looked after that old Langur’s
activities and himself too then he was smile accidently.
Jedhunath!
Oh Jedhunath!
Jedhunath
turned back & looked.
“What
are you looking after here alone continuously? Come here! Come on! Come fast!
We have to carry firewood.”
One
dead body was removed from Ardhajal cover with white cloth, recently. Jedhunath
was going with that person who called him.
“I
did not find the other person to fire the dead person so help me to bury it, I will
pay you.”
Just
for moment, the sound of crying by the person who gives the fire for dead body
hit on his ear then disappear it.
The
movement of firing dead body was mobbed in his eye, it was fired, and the lump
of fire was floating on the water. The soul of dead body came out with the
Firewood sound. Then the leg of dead body came up, as like the dead body gets
life again and re-live, and disappear at the panchatatwa. Mind broke and there
comes gap (interval) in firing dead body. Dead body became ash and all
remaining half fired woods are drop into water. Body structure which was shown
moment ago, was dissolve into ash but still trying to figure out same body
structure in ash. Jedhunath watched all things & moved from there.
And
Jedhunath sat among disable & immobilize old beggars & listen those tragic
life story. They all have same heartbreaking life story, Jedhunatha himself enter
inside the depth of that awful story like he was trying to experience that’s
all. But somewhat there was not matching something with him. As same, he was
also not any matching among visitors who comes to worship. He listened to
people but moved out before finishing it. He moved near form the crowd of
people. He was just trying to find himself.
Jedhunath
had already forgotten about his past. He remembered his birth Place till now. He
recalled his Mother’s lovely touch and felt that it was happening just a minute
ago. Sometimes he felt that just a minute ago he was in his father’s lap. Yes!
He had a married life and sometimes his wife’s face comes as lightning in front
of him. She gave birth to a daughter too, but later she died. And that unlucky
baby, who became the cause for mother’s death was taken by her Grandmother. Then
Jedhunath left his house.
After
leaving his home, he reached Kathmandu, where he became a cook & Vagabond
too, to survive his life. Then after some period of time, he reached Hindustan.
In Kolkata he lived his life as a being; only beings among the huge crowd of
people. There he became slave; worked in a hotel as a hotel boy and Security-
Guard in factory. Journey of his life was as a dream for Jedhunath, but now he
lived in Pashupatinath aryaghat in reality.
One
day, Jedhunatha , in front of the Pashupatinath sat with the support of the
huge statue ox’s leg gazing towards disable, in uncomfortable manner with
embarrassed eye. Crowd of visitors started to be normal, and accidently Jedhunath’s
eye moved towards the main door. He looked towards main door constantly without
blinking his eye.A woman came outside with her baby and there was a man who wore
paint & sweater came along with her. Directly he was associating with his
past. That woman came closer to him with that baby. And that man also came closer
with that woman and baby. When Jedhunath saw her far at the main door, he felt
that she was replica of his wife, believing as her rebirth. When that woman
with her baby and man came more-closer to him, Jedhunath confirmed that, she
was not other than his daughter who was totally carbon copy of his wife. That
baby who was walking with that woman was his grandson. According to that man’s
doings, Jedhunath believed that man with them was his son-in-law. Jedhunath
confirmed it and he stood up.
Immediately,
Jedhunath remained firm in front of that lady, but that frightened the lady and
moved few steps back from him. She felt disgusted with him but she still looked
at his face. They stared at each other and Jedhunatha’s face looked dirty and
bearded.
“Hey!
Why are you looking after me?” She asked.
“Is
he your son?” Jedhunatha asked by showing his finger to the boy.
“Yes,
why?” that lady amswered.
“Is
he your Husband?” Jedhunath asked again pointing towards man.
“Yes!”
woman said with smile.
“It
was true what I think.” Jedhunath breathed with relief.
“Do
you know me?” woman asked with surprise.
“Yeah,
I know you. You are granddaughter of Prushotam.” And he was unable to say that
you were daughter of Jedhunath. The word ‘Jedhunath’ had become so hard to
pronounce for him.
“Yes,
you are the granddaughter of Prushotam.”
He said again.
“Yes,
granddaughter of Prushotam, daughter of Jedhunatha.”
“Yes,
I am same Jedhunath.”
“What!”
woman was shocked and looked at her husband. Immediately, she turned her back
to Jedhunath and took her baby.
“Walk
on!” man said.
Women
stood as like a statue and was not able to walk single foot.
“See...”
boy point out towards the Langur.
Still
woman was unable to move.
“Walk
on, why did you stop? Don’t you have money to give that beggar? I have.” By saying this, man tried to move forward.
“Naa!
I haa…v.” Woman told.
She
turned back to Jedhunath and saw him when she was trying to take out money from
thaali.
She
blocked her emotion and said, “Are you mine father?”
Jedhunath
smiled.
“But,
you are only a‘Tool’ for giving birth to me.” Jedhunath was surprised.
“Only
a‘Tool’!”
“Only
a‘Tool’!” woman moved with relief. Let truth come out, Jedhunath became like
statue. That woman with her boy and man disappeared in the crowd. After
sometimes Jedhunath also moved from there and he put his hand into the floating
water of aryaghat. With the cold feeling of water he said, “Yeah! We all are only
Tool, only Tool.”
Late
in the evening, with evening Aarati, he was not able to move his eye from
Pashupatinath’s Jotirlingha for long time. And once again he realized that,
It’s Truth, Its Only Truth that, “Yes, We all are only a ‘Tool’”, with full of
tears in his eyes.
